Mindset Goal #3: Find Your BIG Why

The third goal for the Mindset portion of the Academy is to find out our Big Why. We're challenged to not just label ourselves with a basic motivation, but to go deeper. So that when we hit a rough spot, we can hold onto the real reasons why we're losing weight and getting fit.

This is something I've thought a lot about over the years. After all, I've struggled with my weight for a long time. I have a lot of reasons to want to get fit. 

First is my body. Usually I tell people it's for my health (which is definitely a reason) but I want to be honest about this. I hate my body. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate that no matter how cute my outfit might be, I feel completely undesirable. Granted, I don't have the desire to be with someone (I'm asexual) but still, it would be nice to feel like someone could want me. 

I'm tired of looking at myself and hating what I see. I'm tired of being tired and out of shape. There are so many things I want to do. I love being in nature. I would love to be strong enough to go hiking. I would love to start riding a bike again. I want to take judo, or some other form of martial arts. When I was a kid, I loved to be active. I was always outside. I want to be able to take my niece and nephew to the playground and run around with them. 

This sort of leads to the other big reason I'm doing this. My health sucks. I'm diabetic, and I'm not good at managing it. It runs in my family, and it's a huge potential with PCOS. I'm always going to be at risk for it, but if I can get healthy and my weight down, I won't have to be on medicine for the rest of my life. 

My family history is full of heart disease and weight problems. There are a lot of weight issues in both sides of my family. It's just always been there. I don't want to be like that. I want to be better. 

We all have this "perfect" self in our minds (at least, I'm assuming I'm not the only one). That smart, pretty, successful self that doesn't suck. Mine wears cute dresses and clothes and cosplays as whatever she wants because she's proud of her body. She's that geek chic librarian. She's not tiny, but a healthy size eight or ten. She's confident, because she's not insecure about her looks. 

I'm doing this because in ten years, I want to be healthier than I am now. I want to be cute and not ashamed of myself. I want to be free to do the things that I want to do, the things that I'm afraid to do no because of my weight.